| I often reflect upon my beliefs. It's something that really dictates a lot of my actions. For better or worse you can decide, but judge not until you understand the preception of what is taking place. As I hope something dictates everyones decisions in there life, something greater than the spontaneity of the moment, I think it's safe to say that everyone does, or should, do some thinking. There's a lot of things in life that I find...distasteful, or rather...undesirable. I don't mean to point criticism at anyone or anything, realize that in all my notes I tend to throw my beliefs out to to whims of the internet and allow you all to comment, criticize, and (dare I say...) contemplate my ideals. Of these things, I realize there's a common ground among them. A common "denominator" if you will. As I've gotten older, as I dispute the fact of growing up...haha, I realize what really matters to me. Most teenagers do a lot of soul searching. They want to know "who they are" or what they can be. In this stage of my life I realize how my own perception works. Blame my past, or my moral upbringing for this, but I perceive myself to be a realist. I'd like to think that I understand things as they are, even though I may make my own judgement, I try to understand the entire aspect of the concept or situation. In doing this I will explain my "common denominator". As I try to see things realistically, although that is all up to individual perception, I have come to understand that I have a greater appreciation for things that are real. That being said, the conclusion can be drawn that I dislike aspects or matters in life that are not real. Well now that you've read this far you may have your criticisms. What is real? Isn't reality just perception? Isn't perception varied among individuals and their life experiences? And if so, then how can one make the judgement of anything being real or not based on their singular outlook of life? Well, as I said, these are my opinions, my ideals, and my realizations. I stated earlier that I see myself as a realist, so it is now up to you, to criticize the following of what I will say, and determine if that is a fair examination of what "real" is. Or, what really is. A past note of mine called What I Think spelled out how I thought that drugs/alcohol are elements in life that are rather unwise to deal with. I will go back and discuss this again as it pertains to what I believe is real. I first began realizing what effects drugs have on people when I was a freshman and people more commonly began to use drugs. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I realized how it affects your soul. I will not mention names, but to say the least I was talking with an old friend and when I looked at their eyes, they weren't that same person. Now to understand the depth of that last comment, realize that I notice peoples eyes before anything else. (I didn't say always, because some smart-alec is going to say well what if.....so I'll put it as such.) I notice peoples eyes a lot, because they're as different and varied as the people themselves. When I looked at this person and saw their eyes, they weren't there. I was talking with them, they were in front of me, but all the same there was nothing. No depth, no personality. That only occurred to me recently in the aspect of what is real. I don't use drugs because I know it'll hurt my body. I know I won't be as strong, and I know I will no longer be able to do what I love doing. Now, I also don't do drugs, because they take everything that's real about a person and destroy it. Whenever someone is on something, and you look at them and talk, look at there eyes, then tell me that they're the same person. Tell me that's really them. Tell me that the person standing in front of you is completely competent and has depth, soul, and integrity to them. If you can assert that to me, then I apologize for you reading this far into my note. Have you ever talked to someone about something that meant a lot to you, and after you got into the subject a little more, you could tell they really felt indifferent over the whole matter? Has there ever been times in your life when you tell someone something more than words explain while they nod their head and you know it didn't make one bit of sense to them? There's a phrase people use. It's become cliche, but I'm going to take it out of the cliche strains of life. "It's just a game." People use that phrase in a couple different scenarios. The first is when you're younger and beat someone at a board game of sorts and they are offended or "sore losers" and you call out "Hey, it's just a game". What is implied in that phrase? "Hey, it's just a game" would it be fair to interpret that into "It's not real". So let's put that meaning into the cliche saying of the world. When people are hurt and use the phrase "It's just a game" really they understand what I'm attempting to portray to you. It's not real. I fail to understand how people can manipulate themselves into thinking that by using items, which we've deemed to turn things fake, can give them "real" feelings or a "real" result. When people use alcohol, they act completely different from when they're sober. Know why? Because it's no longer real. They, are no longer real. Of course they're there. It's there body after all. But, they're manipulated. In law I believe the term is "under the influence". With that phrase in mind, can you honestly tell me that someone who is "under the influence" is real? Going back to the note I had mentioned before, I also talked about honesty. Honesty, as I've come to realize with all this "thinking" I've done, is another aspect of life that IS real. When you lie to someone you're conveying to them a false realization to provide them with a false sense of complacency in a reality that would bring about discomfort to their perception. How deceiving, how manipulative, and moreover, how fake is that. I've also come to realize the crucial difference in love and lust. Lust is of the moment. It's spontaneous, it's immediate, it's manipulation of something real. When something becomes manipulated, it's no longer real. Love is real...but that's for another note. Another time. Another day. I enjoy things that are real. People that are real, under influences only of their own beliefs and morals. When I can look into their eyes and see their soul, see their sincerity of heart, their quintessense... That is real. ---xcraig |
